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I love looking into your endless blue eyes. That is what has me attracted to you.

I love being held in your arms. That is what makes me feel safe, and I never want to leave. 

I love kissing you. That is what makes me feel loved.

I love you .

You are all I need. <3

What I don’t get is last time we hung out too much, this time I don’t try and make you stop smoking and you spend more time with Tony than you do me :/ I love you so much though that I’m not going to start fights about it. I just wish you would see what you’re doing to me. You’re driving me crazy!! You can’t see though, because you never text me when you’re with your friends, and when you are with your friends you’re driving around and getting high :/ I don’t like it but I’m not stopping you. I’m not stopping you because I love you and willing yo risk it all just to keep you mine. I screwed up three times already, I gave you up three times and I don’t want to lose you again. I still just wish you could see that sometimes, spending more than five minutes outside our houses is more important than Tony and all your other friends :(

You are so good about not smoking around me, or being high around me and I love you 10 times more for that, but when you come home from work and I can smell it on you covered in Axe, and I can taste/smell it when we kiss it upsets me. What upsets me even more is I feel like you just lied to my face about being high. You said it’s just cause your car is crazy and you did a few deals on your breaks…for some reason I don’t believe that. I want to with all my heart I want to believe everything you tell me but right now I just can’t. I’d do anything to keep you, and letting you smoke is really big for me, you know that. You know how much I hate it, but I’d rather you be honest with me about it rather than lie to me. I’ve been lied to too much and it hurts to think you would lie to me too. It’s only been a week and I don’t want to start the fighting so for now I’m just going to post this for you not to see, but for my own sanity of having it be said. I’m going to bite my tongue and pretend it never happened. I know I shouldn’t but at this point I feel like fighting over something you do almost everyday is going to be pointless and either I’m going to be pissed off all the time again, or you’ll lose the battle and have to give it up for me again. I don’t want you to have to give anything up for me, I don’t want there to have to be deals or compromises in our relationship. All I ask is that you tell me the truth, sure I’ll be upset if you are high around me but I’d be more upset if you lie to me. I love you so much and I just want this to work. <3 

I don’t get why your “best friends” leave you.

Why when you get a new “best friend” she replaces you with your ex-best friend.

Why they get pissy cause you don’t tell them one thing but on the flip side they don’t tell you SHIT…EVER!!!!!!!!

I don’t know why I waste my time making sure all of my “friends” are happy when I’m sitting here wishing for a way out. Wishing for an escape.

I don’t know how they can call me a bitch for saying what I feel like saying, what is on my mind, how I feel about something but when I call them a bitch they turn around and cuss me out.

I don’t know how me getting back together with him effects you!

I’m happy now and the ENTIRE time I wasn’t all you cared about was him.

You cared about a guy your “in love” with!

You went against everything you told me and fucked him, didn’t tell me and still act like NOTHING happened when really I know everything that happened!!!!!

And you! You turn around and fuck him everyday! You said you didn’t want that! You said you would do anything to keep him well guess what I feel like he is only keeping you around cause he wants some ass!

I know none of you are worth my time anymore, really I should just say “Fuck you all” and leave before I get even more hurt.

The only ones who were there for me this whole time, were him and her.

He has always been there and has always been able to put a smile on my face no matter what mood I’m in. I truly do think I am in love with him. I keep going back to him. I’m only happy when I’m with him.

She has been there for 12 years. Though we didn’t talk or hang out a lot in those 12 years we are now. We are getting through all this shit together. She’s the only one who cares about me. She is truly my best friend and I thank you for that(even though you probably wont see this).

I’m finding who my true friends are and really it seems like I only have three, because her and I have had the same problems with our “best friends”.

Brady, Heather and Amelia. My three best friends. I’d be lost without you all right now. I’d go back to sitting outside on a nice day hiding behind a book and headphones if it weren’t for you.

I love you three more than anything!<3